My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
