Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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