is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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