I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
