Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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