I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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