so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
