so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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