how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
