then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
