ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
