Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You need a sexual gate keeper
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
