she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
