Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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