I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
