Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
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