Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
