Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When are your genitals available?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
