Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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