I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
