You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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