We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
