yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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