Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
this is an emotional support booty call
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
