you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my sisters under your porch take her home
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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