Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
