Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
