just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
