Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
