Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
