There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
