Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
