just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
