good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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