You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
