hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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