So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
