I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
