Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Randomize
