Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
