She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
