If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize