He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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