his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
