Porn is love you can see.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
