He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
