im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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