I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize