Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
