Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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