Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
