He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize