Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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