bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The air taste purple.
Randomize
