I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
