Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How naked do you want me to be?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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