Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
