Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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