She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
