I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
