She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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