so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
