that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
